A Mirror Image

I am a Facebooker. I have apps on my phone and my IPad for the times I am away from my home computer, where I always have it up. This alone isn’t a problem. I mean Facebook is great for staying connecting, networking, and keeping in touch with friends and family. But I don’t always use it for that….

For me, the balancing act is using Facebook to check in and not to check up on my own insecurities and doubts by comparing myself to others. This has been harder of a balancing act while I struggle with my weight and the self esteem issues that come with it.

But to compare myself to others, and with that comparison, strive to change myself or feel poorly about who I am, is such a deprecating thing to do to God.

It’s saying that what he made is flawed or not as beautiful as other things he’s created.

It’s ungrateful.  It’s like receiving a beautiful, hand made, knitted sweater as a gift but as you hold it up to your body, you can’t help but think of that perfect navy sweater you saw in the window at the mall. You no longer see the love in the stitching, the time it took to craft it to perfection, the character and depth it has. You want more. You want better.

In Psalms 139:12 it says “ Oh yes, you shaped me first inside- then out” (The Message)

God crafted us from the inside first, then out. But each were perfect to him. Each were made and crafted to his perfection, so who are we to look at it and say it’s not good enough?

Psalms goes on in verse 13-15  “ I thank you High God- you’re breathtaking! Body and soul, I am marvelously made! I worship in adoration- what a creation!”

Sometimes, I look at what God has created and I wish I could be better. In doing this, I miss the love, the time and the uniqueness that God put into making me. I miss out on an opportunity to praise Him for what he has done.

I feel like we all can strive everyday to be “better” as a Christian, or to fix the sin in our lives that separates us from God. But when we scroll through Facebook and want to BE someone else, that’s a dangerous path.

God didn’t want me to be anyone but me. In fact, I should look at what he has marvelously made and rejoice Him! He gave me brown hair because it makes me beautiful to Him. I am tall because He wanted me to be tall. Everything I am is because He knew my life’s story and created me to live it.

My flaws are so beautiful to Him. My body is perfect to Him. My laugh, my teeth, my eyes, they are all woven into a unique masterpiece that was created to fulfill some void this world would have if I was not in it.

In short, I am the most beautiful, perfect and glorious ME I can be. Striving for anything else just takes my eyes off of God.

For me, I think it becomes a very thin line between striving to be a better version of yourself and striving to be a different person.

Can I get an Amen to that?

For example, I look at friends who are competing in races ( which I have ALWAYS wanted to do)  and instead of using is as MOTIVATION to complete my own dream, I use it as self-deprecation that who I am isn’t good enough.

The kicker: God loves me just as much if I’m out of shape or fit and running a race. He loves me in my struggles and my victories. I don’t need to “fix” myself to win His love, I just need to be me, the ME He created.

Because comparing myself to others is not only harmful to myself, but it breaks God’s heart.

He sees my mess and thinks its beautiful. How humbling is that??